How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was born a porn star she said
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
