so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
