whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
