i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
