my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
