trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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