Even the bartender felt bad for me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You need Xanax blowdarts
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
