Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
