Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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