I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
