We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
