you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and she was petting her beer can
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
