oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need to calm my uterus...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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