i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
