well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize