It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
