garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
