I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
