benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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