so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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