A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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