Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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