even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
