Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
