I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
