Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
