Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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