ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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