how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
