This girl is more easily done than said...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
