he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
