Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
