We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
