She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
