My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
