I think my fart just growled at me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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