I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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