I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
