I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
