He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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