I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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