i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
