i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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