Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
