just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I believe in your delicious
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
