I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
