I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
