Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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