If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize