it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
